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00:00:00 Fatility struggles are something that can take over your entire life, not just physically but mentally and emotionally to where we never feel like we get a break from it. So today I want to give you some really important strategies for starting to feel a bit more free on your journey, not feeling so consumed by your fertility every single day, every single minute .
00:00:22 I'm Bella Hilton from Studio Fatility and have the privilege to work with women every day through the mental and emotional journey of fertility so they can every day through the mental and emotional journey of fertility so they can feel in control, heal from trauma and to improve their fertility outcomes and success. And I do this because I have first-hand experience on the fertility journey. I went through 10 long years of infertility,
00:00:44 IVF, and four miscarriages to get my beautiful baby boy, but I also have the tools and the training to be able to help women to change their experience. I'm a certified advanced life coach, master NLP practitioner and hypnofutilist and host of the Much Loved Studio Fatility practitioner and hypnofutilist and host of the Much Loved Studio Fatility podcast and I've worked with women all over the world doing this work. Now my story isn't like
00:01:08 anybody else's, just like yours is unique to you but all of us with that common thread, very rough fertility experiences. So today we want to find ways to stop obsessing about becoming pregnant without giving up entirely and improve your day-to-day experience so that you can actually stop thinking about fertility all the time and find some calm and some peace. Now I think
00:01:28 about fertility all the time and find some calm and some peace. Now I think that a lot goes into feeling more grounded, like healing your heart from what you've been through today on your journey, building back self-worth and self-esteem and so much more. But today I want to give you two quick wins that can make a big difference. So step number one today to not feeling so consumed is to
00:01:54 understand a little of how our brain works and why we become so obsessed and that is our focus. that is our focus. So the first thing I needed to do on my journey to change my experience was to change my focus and here is why. Where your focus goes your energy flows. Simply wherever we're putting our attention is the only way we can experience our world or experience that moment. We tend
00:02:21 to get so laser focused on fertility without any balance and that drives the obsessions. So we can't experience our world in any other way. We view everything kind of through a experience our world in any other way. We view everything kind of through a fertility lens. We're trying to find joy and we can't find it anymore. And the things we do on a daily basis, the way we
00:02:42 think, the way we feel about ourselves and our lives, the way we feel about our fertility, the miscarriage we're still paying from, the Google searches, the ping on sticks, etc. These are the things we do daily that reinforce that focus. It's like the 24/7 Infertility News channel which is News channel which is constantly on in our brains with doctors telling you proper sentences and
00:03:06 Google searches, returning grim outcomes and a whole bunch of other things telling you that it 'll never happen. How can you feel good and find hope with that in that environment? It's like putting yourself in a bubble and literally you can't, joy can't get in. So in order to start to find out joy or calm or peace, we need to change our day to day. We need to give our brains
00:03:27 calm or peace, we need to change our day to day. We need to give our brains that balance. We need to look at what is taking our focus and how we can change it. Now in a moment I 'm going to ask you to look around your room. The three seconds are known as all the blue things. Okay, three, two, one and go. Look around your room, two, one and stop and focus back on me. Now tell me without
00:03:52 looking one red thing in the room. It's likely you can't do it. Why? Because I told you to focus on blue and you told your brain to focus only on blue. This is how our brains are blue and you told your brain to focus only on blue. This is how our brains are looking for joy right now. We're noticing all the blue things being our fertility journey and wondering why we aren't able to conjure up a red thing. Peace, happiness, joy, laughter. So let
00:04:18 's ask a different question to get us started. This is step number two. What is keeping me so focused on my fertility that is not actually helping me and causing me a lot of anxiety, anguish and that is not actually helping me and causing me a lot of anxiety, anguish and overwhelming feelings. Now I can hear it. Those of you who are thinking, "But Bella, I have to focus on my fertility if I
00:04:39 want to get pregnant." And you absolutely do. But this is about finding balance . And we aren't always our own best friends when we're going through fertility. And often our environments are not set up to help us win because we've never been taught how to do this. And focusing all your attention on your fertility will ensure that other parts of your life atrophy
