4.7 rating on App Stores
00:00:00 Fertility struggles are a crushing blow to the joy, love, happiness and excitement that we thought trying to have a baby would be about, and can replace it with the most unimaginable feelings and experiences that we didn't even know I think we were capable of going through. So when you start to feel better mentally and emotionally on the fertility
00:00:21 journey, naturally you don't ever want to feel those painful feelings again. And in my experience as a fertility coach I started to notice a trend with my And in my experience as a fertility coach I started to notice a trend with my clients. We started to get them feeling really amazing again and quite quickly. And then they would have a bad day and feel like they were back at square one all over
00:00:41 again because they were experiencing some of the prior thoughts and feelings. Hi there, I'm Bella Hilton from Studio Fertility, I'm a certified advanced life coach, master and LP practitioner and hypnofotilitist and host of the Much Love Studio F ertility podcast. I work with women all over the world doing this work, helping them with the mental and mental and
00:01:00 emotional journey of fertility so they can feel in control again and I do this because I went through a 10 year long journey myself. And today I want to talk to you about how your mind can sabotage you as you establish more helpful mental and emotional strategies. Like I said, I noticed my clients would have these crash days, these crash moments.
00:01:21 Until they talk to me again and I showed them how they were not in fact back at square one and how quickly they could get themselves back to feeling good again because we all have bad days. That's part of being human. But we don't all understand how our minds work that can allow us to separate out bad
00:01:38 days and sabotage so that we don't go back to square one. When you're educated about how your mind and body work and you have the tools to help yourself, then you have real choice to help yourself. But when you don't understand or have those tools, then you can sink further down and not know why or how to do anything about it. So today I'm going to help you to understand how your mind can sabotage you as
00:01:56 So today I'm going to help you to understand how your mind can sabotage you as you're starting to feel better. And I'm going to give you real examples to follow. So let's understand a few things because we need to understand your unconscious mind. Any real change in our mindset and emotions happens at the unconscious level. Otherwise we're trying to force ourselves to think and feel more positively and
00:02:21 that doesn't last. That can lead to toxic positivity because we're actually just pushing down our feelings. That's like seeing a motivational speaker and feeling that motivation for a bit That's like seeing a motivational speaker and feeling that motivation for a bit , but then it goes because it's not self-motivated, self-sustained.
00:02:37 And not enough of a change has happened to take hold. Have you experienced that? Like every year I would watch the Australian Open as a kid and get all excited about playing tennis again and I'd drag my friends a couple of times with me, probably against their will to play tennis. But then the Australian Open would stop and I'd stop being in the world of
00:02:56 But then the Australian Open would stop and I'd stop being in the world of tennis and I'd lose my motivation to play going back to my status quo of not playing tennis. So when we're forcing ourselves to be positive and burying our real emotions instead of dealing with our real emotions to get to the positive feeling again, the crash will inevitably happen
00:03:18 because you haven't created any real change. So we don't want to force ourselves to be positive if we want to actually feel the change. However, if you've legitimately been feeling the changes or are currently However, if you've legitimately been feeling the changes or are currently making changes and you're feeling more positive and then you crash and feel like you're back at square
00:03:36 one, let me show you what is happening so you know that indeed you are in a better place than you think and how to stop the sabotage once and for all. So firstly, we kind of need to understand the purpose of the unconscious mind. Now there are a few functions but according to NLP, one of the major directives of the unconscious mind where the lasting change actually happens is to keep us alive, unconscious mind where the lasting change actually happens is to keep us alive,
00:04:00 to protect us, to keep us safe, to keep our heart beating and our spleen, you know, spleen ing and to keep us in our comfort zone because that represents safety, right? It wants to keep you safe, keep you alive and we can act quite instinctively with our unconscious mind. Like when there's a fire in your house, you don't stop to consciously and
00:04:23 logically think about what to do, you instinctively act and remove yourself from the danger to keep yourself safe. keep yourself safe. Now our unconscious mind seems to think that it's better the devil we know because the unconscious mind can perceive any change to be danger because at that stage we think there
00:04:44 is more pain in changing than there is in staying the same. We can actually change quite quickly and we think there is less pain in changing than staying the same. This is our unconscious mind's comfort zone where we perceive more danger or
