When Your Relationship Faces Challenges During Fertility Times

00:00:01 Today we will talk a little about relationships because when it comes to relationships, there are very different ways in which we, and perhaps a few others are challenged by fertility treatment. I often face clients who have some common traits when it comes to issues related to involuntary childlessness. I see that the woman and the man have very different reactions to being in treatment, and very different reactions to experiencing grief. For many women, it can be very difficult to handle the joy surrounding others pregnancies.

00:00:29 difficult to handle the joy surrounding others pregnancies. While men are more often able to continue participating in life's various events, I occasionally see that some men may have difficulty understanding their partner's feelings, especially when they receive invitations to baby showers or perhaps a christening. Yes, they can sometimes wonder why it can be so difficult for a partner to be happy for others, when it is precisely those others who are pregnant, which has nothing to do with your own journey as a

00:00:56 who are pregnant, which has nothing to do with your own journey as a fertility coach and sleep coach. I know that both parties in a process struggle in their own ways to handle the emotional and psychological changes that can arise due to involuntary childlessness. The complex emotions that many women feel when life moves on for friends or family members can be quite difficult to cope with and even harder to share with a partner who may not express grief or sadness to the same extent while being on this journey.

00:01:26 or sadness to the same extent while being on this journey. It is important to acknowledge that there are these differences in the way we handle emotions, and to find out how we can support each other, despite the fact that we see things differently. Here are some examples of where I experienced that it can create distance in the relationship. Communication challenges some couples may experience difficulties in communicating openly and honestly about their feelings, and especially also about the

00:01:57 fear and frustration that can be associated with fertility treatment. fear and frustration that can be associated with fertility treatment. Perhaps they keep it to themselves a bit because they don't want to share how sad they become about being on this journey. There is also typically something that comes up regarding roles and expectations. Conflicts can arise regarding roles and expectations in a relationship, especially if there is a difference in how each party handles stress and emotional strain.

00:02:22 Do they each share when something is important or really difficult, or do they turn their focus inward and handle their feelings alone? Perhaps there is a fear that the partner will become even more upset and will not be able to handle it. When it comes to intimacy, fertility treatment can negatively affect intimacy and the relationship, both due to the physical and emotional strain, as well as the pressure associated with continuing to try to achieve a pregnancy. Everything that was once fun and enjoyable has suddenly become

00:02:55 planned and less spontaneous. When it comes to decisions about planned and less spontaneous. When it comes to decisions about treatment options and any potential alternatives, it can also be a source of conflict, especially if you do not agree on what the best way forward is for you. Should we go for fertility treatment with IVF or should we stop at insemination? Are we ready to use a donor egg or perhaps move forward with donor sperm? There are incredibly many

00:03:22 important conversations that need to be had during the process, but which can also help you with the maturation protest that is necessary for you to explore new paths if it becomes necessary. necessary for you to explore new paths if it becomes necessary. Fertility treatment can also test your relationships, resilience and your ability to support each other through challenging times, which can lead to increased tension and conflicts in your partnership. That is why it is so important for each of you to spend time doing

00:03:50 things that fill you up and give you energy, so that when you meet, there is also space to be together in a good way. To that end, I would really like to share three exercises with you today that can increase understanding of each other during fertility treatment. The first exercise is about emotional mirroring. Take the time to sit down together and openly talk about the feelings associated with being in fertility treatment. You can take turns speaking and

00:04:21 sharing how you will experience being in this process together. It is important that you both dare to share your hopes, fears, frustrations and concerns and that you practice actively frustrations and concerns and that you practice actively listening to each other without interrupting during the exercise. Try to put yourselves in each other's shoes and be curious about understanding why you react in certain ways. This exercise can help you build empathy and understanding and

00:04:46 strengthen your relationship. And remember, it is completely normal for each of you to have very different experiences and feelings associated with both the grief that may arise and with this journey. Exercise two try to spend time imagining how you want your life Exercise two try to spend time imagining how you want your life together to look, regardless of the outcome of the fertility treatment. Make a list of your dreams, goals and wishes for the future, both as individuals and as a couple. This exercise can help strengthen

00:05:19 your connection and remind you that you have a common goal and a shared vision that goes beyond being infertility treatment. For many men and women, it can also be reassuring to discuss For many men and women, it can also be reassuring to discuss where you stand with each other. If the path to the family you desire takes longer than expected or needs to take new directions. Exercise three. Mindfulness and breathing exercises can also be very effective in reducing stress and

00:05:46 anxiety that may be associated with fertility treatment. In this exercise, it is important that you set aside time to breathe together or practice yoga together. It not only helps create calm and relaxation in your body, but it also improves your communication relaxation in your body, but it also improves your communication and connection as a couple. I would definitely encourage you to revisit these three exercises and experience, how they can contribute to strengthening your relationship, and not least your

00:06:15 understanding of each other during fertility treatment. And remember to be patient and supportive of each other. This fertility journey can be challenging in a way that you may not have experienced before, but it can also be a really good opportunity to strengthen your relationship and create a renewed opportunity to strengthen your relationship and create a renewed understanding of what is happening to you, especially when you are faced with things you did not expect or that press you in a new way.

00:06:41 I hope that with these three exercises, you have new inspiration to move forward with what you can do for your relationship. When you experience that, what was once associated with excitement, joy, and a desire to be together may be a bit strained on several parameters due to the fact that fertility treatment can be so mentally and due to the fact that fertility treatment can be so mentally and emotionally challenging so far. I would like to thank you for your time. I look forward to seeing you again.

00:07:09 Bye.