Depressed About Infertility? Understanding Anxiety & Grief

Video Transcript

00:00:00 Hello. When you are struggling to get pregnant or to stay pregnant, there is a question that I know. You might be asking yourself all the time. What if it doesn't work? Or, what if everything I have put myself and my loved ones through is completely in vain? What if this entire journey and the countless treatments do not end with us having our baby after all? treatments do not end with us having our baby after all?

00:00:34 But even though this is the first thing we might think about in the morning or what keeps you awake at night, it is rare that we say it out loud. And often it is because you may have experienced that it is considered a taboo and that we tend to push these questions away until they shout so loudly for our attention that a distance is created between what happens

00:00:57 inside us and what we show to the outside world. This creates immense inside us and what we show to the outside world. This creates immense loneliness and isolation. But why? Can it be so difficult to speak openly about similar questions that we ask ourselves again and again? Firstly, many of the clients I work with believe that if we explore what we think, it will manifest in our world. Because if we think, it happens, then it happens.

00:01:25 Do you know what I mean? If I look, you in the eyes right now, you might know Do you know what I mean? If I look, you in the eyes right now, you might know that it's something worse, Brevillean. But we can feel an enormous pressure from both ourselves and our surroundings not to think about it, because then you won't get pregnant. You may have also heard that you just need to believe enough, that it will happen, that

00:01:46 you should stay positive and hopeful and avoid thinking about various conceivable scenarios. In reality, it actually relates to today's topic, how we handle disappointment and loss along the way. For it is the case that when people around along the way. For it is the case that when people around you say that you should stop thinking about it or try to relax, not stress so much, it

00:02:09 often has more to do with their ability to be present with you, and the grief that comes with experiencing that we do not have control over getting what we want the most, and cannot control when. It happens at all. The emotions you experience arising should not and cannot be fixed or shut down. Instead, we should practice being in all the and cannot be fixed or shut down. Instead, we should practice being in all the emotions

00:02:32 that come with it, including the difficult ones, as there can be both physical and emotional grief associated with them. But before we move on, I would actually like to talk a bit with you about what you experience as loss. As a sleep consultant, I often find that people come to me to talk about the loss of a person. But very rarely do people seek me out because

00:02:57 they have lost a job, a partner, a pet, a cycle or a pregnancy. Why is that? they have lost a job, a partner, a pet, a cycle or a pregnancy. Why is that? Often it is because we have not learned to take care of the grief that arises when we experience an emotional loss. Especially in situations like these, grief is a cycle you must skip. A cycle that represents the hope of becoming pregnant, but unfortunately did

00:03:24 not result in the pregnancy you desired. This form of grief can feel like a crushing blow, in the pregnancy you desired. This form of grief can feel like a crushing blow, as each cycle brings hopes and expectations of a new beginning. The loss is a pregnancy , but losing a pregnancy regardless of the stage can be one of the absolutely most painful heart-wrenching

00:03:46 experiences that one can go through. It is not only the loss of a child, but also the loss of the dream of becoming parents that can be unbearable and painful. The grief of being unable to conceive naturally. For some, this means confronting the need being unable to conceive naturally. For some, this means confronting the need for fertility treatment which signifies the loss of the entirely idyllic notion of achieving

00:04:11 pregnancy through natural conception. This realisation can be shocking and painful, and it can actually take time to process and accept. The loss of a friendship that was too difficult to maintain because your friend became pregnant. When your closest friends or family because your friend became pregnant. When your closest friends or family members become

00:04:33 pregnant, it can trigger a deep sense of loss and grief. It can feel as if their lives are suddenly moving in a completely different direction, while you yourself are stuck in endless waiting. It is important to understand that these forms of grief can have a profound effect on our mental and emotional well-being. They can also trigger a complex effect on our mental and emotional well-being. They can also trigger a complex

00:05:01 mix of emotions, including grief, anger, frustration, but also guilt and shame. It is also important to acknowledge that grief and loss are often associated with fertility struggles. These topics are taboo and avoided in conversations and society in general. This lack of recognition and support can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation and worsen our ability to cope

00:05:28 with the grief that arises. But what do I do when I lose a cycle or when the test is negative? that arises. But what do I do when I lose a cycle or when the test is negative? You might wonder. Yes, it is important to understand that there is no right way to grieve. There is no established grieving process that you must go through. Instead, it is a journey with a deep insight into and acceptance of the fact

00:05:51 that our losses cannot be fixed or dealt with, but are rather something we learn to feel and live with in our everyday lives. In conclusion, I would like to share three good tips that our everyday lives. In conclusion, I would like to share three good tips that can help you work on your sleep, if and when it arises. One, allow yourself to feel. It is really

00:06:13 important that you allow yourself to experience all the emotions that arise in the wake of a treatment or a loss. You are allowed to let the tears flow if you need to, and you are also allowed to be angry, sad or frustrated. Suppressing your feelings can prolong your sleep process and prevent you from moving forward, so give them space. sleep process and prevent you from moving forward, so give them space.

00:06:33 2. Seek support and understanding. Feel free to find people in your life with whom you feel safe sharing your feelings. This could be a partner, family members or perhaps friends or a professional sleep consultant. Having someone to talk to who truly understands your situation can be crucial for your mental well-being, as well as for emotional healing. 2. Be patient with yourself. Sleep is an individual process and it takes time

00:06:56 2. Be patient with yourself. Sleep is an individual process and it takes time to move forward completely. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to go through the waves of grief at your own pace, and remember, it is okay to have good as well as bad days and that it is a completely natural part of healing. Lastly, I would like to remind you that you are not

00:07:22 alone. All your feelings and thoughts are valid and should not and cannot be compared to the grief of others. I hope you have become a little wiser today. Loss is to the grief of others. I hope you have become a little wiser today. Loss is not only physical, but also emotional, and that it may ease you a bit in the process when it comes to accepting the emotions that can arise when you experience an emotional loss.

00:07:50 As I always say to you, I am right here if you need someone to listen or who can help you a little along the way if questions arise regarding this video. You are you a little along the way if questions arise regarding this video. You are always welcome in my mailbox to get in touch. Bye. >> Okay.