When Your Relationship Faces Challenges

[00:00:00] Today we will talk a little about relationships, because when it comes to relationships, there are very different ways in which we, and perhaps a few others, are challenged by fertility treatment. I often face clients who have some common traits when it comes to issues related to involuntary childlessness. [00:00:18] I see that the woman and the man have very different reactions to being in treatment, and very different reactions to experiencing grief. For many women, it can be very difficult to handle the joy surrounding others' For many women, it can be very difficult to handle the joy surrounding others' pregnancies, while men are more often able to continue participating in life's various events. [00:00:37] I occasionally see that some men may have difficulty understanding their partner's feelings, especially when they receive invitations to baby showers, or perhaps a christ ening. Yes, they can sometimes wonder why it can be so difficult for a partner to be happy for others when it is precisely those others who are pregnant, which has nothing to do [00:00:58] with your own journey. As a fertility coach and sleep coach, I know that both parties in a process As a fertility coach and sleep coach, I know that both parties in a process struggle in their own ways to handle the emotional and psychological changes that can arise due to involuntary childlessness. The complex emotions that many women feel when life moves on for friends or [00:01:17] family members can be quite difficult to cope with and even harder to share with a partner who may not express grief or sadness to the same extent while being on this journey. express grief or sadness to the same extent while being on this journey. It is important to acknowledge that there are these differences in the way we handle emotions and to find out how we can support each other despite the fact that we [00:01:40] see things differently. Here are some examples of where I experience that it can create distance in the relationship, communication challenges. Some couples may experience difficulties in communicating openly and honestly about their feelings, and especially also about the fear and frustration that can be [00:01:58] associated with fertility treatment. fertility treatment. Perhaps they keep it to themselves a bit because they don't want to share how sad they become about being on this journey. There is also typically something that comes up regarding roles and expectations. [00:02:13] Things can arise regarding roles and expectations in a relationship, especially if there is a difference in how each party handles stress and emotional strain. Do they each share when something is important or really difficult, or do they turn their focus inward and handle their feelings alone? focus inward and handle their feelings alone? Perhaps there is a fear that the partner will become even more upset and will [00:02:34] not be able to handle it. When it comes to intimacy, fertility treatment can negatively affect intimacy and the relationship, both due to the physical and emotional strain, as well as the pressure associated with continuing to try to achieve a pregnancy. Everything that was once fun and enjoyable has suddenly become planned and less [00:02:58] spontaneous. When it comes to decisions about treatment options and any potential When it comes to decisions about treatment options and any potential alternatives, it can also be a source of conflict, especially if you do not agree on what the best way forward is for you. Should we go for fertility treatment with IVF or should we stop at insemination [00:03:15] ? Are we ready to use a donor egg or perhaps move forward with donor sperm? There are incredibly many important conversations that need to be had during the process, but which can also help you with the maturation protest that is necessary for you to explore to explore new paths if it becomes necessary. [00:03:36] Healthy treatment can also test your relationships resilience and your ability to support each other through challenging times, which can lead to increased tension and conflicts in your partnership. That is why it is so important for each of you to spend time doing things that fill you up and give you energy, so that when you meet, there is also space to be [00:03:57] together in a good way. way. To that end, I would really like to share three exercises with you today that can increase understanding of each other during fertility treatment. The first exercise is about emotional mirroring. Take the time to sit down together and openly talk about the feelings [00:04:16] associated with being in fertility treatment. You can take turns speaking and sharing how you will experience being in this process together. It is important that you both dare to share your hopes, fears, frustrations and It is important that you both dare to share your hopes, fears, frustrations and concerns, [00:04:31] and that you practice actively listening to each other without interrupting during the exercise. Try to put yourselves in each other's shoes and be curious about understanding why you react in certain ways. This exercise can help you build empathy and understanding and strengthen your relationship. [00:04:49] And remember, it is completely normal for each of you to have very different experiences and feelings associated with both the grief that may arise and with this journey, exercise